You couldn't make this shit up!

So yesterday was day 62 after diagnosis.


And day 1 of chemotherapy.


I was seen to by Lamin, a cheeky Ugandan nurse who does a good line in dead pan dry humour! Drink plenty he says...............not wine though! Bastard. Party pooper! Today I feel a little hungover, not sick, I am keeping on top of my meds and doing self obs regularly (temp).......I was treated to lunch out today with my lovely friend Emily!



So here I am, sporting my lovely Wonder Woman T-shirt, sent to me by a friend......now to be known as dirty Jennie.......a filthy mind is a terrible thing to waste! I changed my FB profile pic to WW too, although the one Jennie sent me was hilarious and very saucy, I used the one Kerry suggested!

I received this later in the day too, all the way from friends Salisbury.........I can't wait to get down to see them all! Thank you Matt, Nina, Kitty Pippa and Fernie

And I received this all the way from Shanghai, you have to love free hospital wifi! Thank you Matt Emma and Birdy x

Now the crap news.......


My Daddy, whom I spent the summer ferrying to and fro form his chemotherapy sessions for bladder cancer is back in hospital with acute pain. It seems like the COCKWOMBLING cancer has hung on, hidden and spread. This is gutting and frustrating and scary and saddening and I am just numb.
My dear sister and her family were coming over this year, to visit from Australia. On advice from the Drs, they're  coming sooner.......


Enough already, my poor family is exhausted xxx


c xx

Cake or Death?

So, I got ma hair did on Saturday!


I have, like forever had long hair. The last time I had a 'proper' cut was when my youngest was born. I think I had it about as short as it is now, and this is SHORT for me!! My hair has been something I could hide behind, something to express my individuality.....it was me.


It was actually, an easy decision to make, I know I'm going to lose my hair. There are cold caps you can wear during chemo that reduce the blood flow to the hair follicles. Which in turn limits the amount of drug that gets to them, reducing hair fall. It would still thin though and I am of the opinion that I'd rather have no hair than a patchy comb over!


Liam and I also discussed the options on offer......no chemo full head of hair almost certain death sooner than we would like, chemo.......bald and I get to live......I already told you the stats!


So it was a 'cake or death' scenario......... (insert bald for cake) no brainer really!

I always think a big cut is a waste of good hair. A couple of friend's daughters have recently sent their hair to a charity which makes wigs for children suffering chemo related alopecia. I thought I'd do the same.

Lovely Louise, managed to get 9" off!

 I owe her two hair elastics........I forgot to bring any!


I'm posting the hair off today. I feel good!

c x

3rd Boob!

It was my 42nd birthday on Friday, in years past, Liam would take the day off and we'd have a day out. This year, with my diagnosis hanging like a black cloud over us we couldn't do our usual grown-up jaunt down to Brighton for a boozy lunch and a wander through the lanes. I'd had an appointment on the Wednesday before, the one where I received the marvellous news that technically I was cancer free....... so Liam had had a half day then.


We decided to do birthday doings on the Saturday, Liam's brother and I have birthdays in the same week and by luck, both he and his GF were free on the Saturday so we met up. We had a fabulous walk up on Devils Dyke, the weather was kind and it really blew away the cobwebs! We ate at the pub there and I could barely move by then end, completely full of chicken pie, and sticky toffee pudding (sorry to my sugar free girls, Suzy, Emily, Mads and Lou).

I had a niggly feeling under my arm, where the scar was, felt my seroma was filling up. I took my painkillers and drank my wine, but I had to loosen my bra strap by the end of the meal because I was so uncomfortable!


Over the next 4 days it got bigger and bigger, until yesterday..........it was the size of a tennis ball! My scar was tight, and getting redder and redder, I couldn't put my arm down, I looked ridiculous, remember the nursery rhyme...'Im a little teapot'? It was becoming like a 3rd boob!


Thank goodness I had an appointment at the hospital already planned. I was seeing the oncologist at 5pm to discuss chemotherapy and I had rung ahead and asked (was prepared to beg) for one of the lovely breast care nurses to look at my 3rd  boob.


So I met the oncologist, I start FEC-T shortly. You'll all be thrilled to know that with treatment, I now have a 90% chance of surviving to 52!


Back to my 3rd boob. The nurse took a look and agreed it could do with draining. Didn't hurt as the whole area is still largely numb. So she's pulling at the plunger on her syringe, chatting away about the biggest ones she's drained........around 300ml and I'm not really keeping up with how many times she's emptied it........I am very proud to tell you that I had collected 200ml of fluid! That's almost two thirds of a can of coke. The nurse then proclaimed the understatement of the day.... "well, that was worth doing!"


I'm going back next week, so that they can look again as I've been warned it'll probably fill up again even if it's to a lesser degree. What's nice though, is that I can sleep on that side again and I feel like I can drive, now I'm not having to stick my elbow out all the time!


It still hurts, well, sort of tender, but I am now making myself busy catching up on sewing and seeing friends and thinking about getting in to work before Chemo starts!




c xx